Jan 3 2009
“The Palestinians want their own country. There’s just one thing about that, there are no Palestinians.”
Larry Miller wrote this but it was brilliantly performed by comedian Dennis Miller.
“A brief overview of the situation is always valuable, so as a service to all who still don’t get it, I now offer you the story of the Middle East in just a few paragraphs, which is all you Really need.
Here we go:
The Palestinians want their own country. There’s just one thing about that: There are no Palestinians. It’s a made up word. Israel was called Palestine for two thousand years.
Like “Wiccan,” “Palestinian” sounds ancient but is really a modern invention. Before the Israelis won the land in wars perpetrated on them by their Arab neighbors, Gaza was owned by Egypt, and there were no “Palestinians” then, and the West Bank Was owned by Jordan, and there were no “Palestinians” then. As soon as the Jews took over and started growing oranges as big as basketballs, what do you know, say hello to the Palestinians,” weeping for their deep bond with their lost “land” and “nation.”
So for the sake of honesty, let’s not use the word “Palestinian” any more to describe these delightful folks, who dance for joy at our deaths until someone points out they’re being taped. Instead, let’s call them what they are: “Other Arabs Who Can’t Accomplish Anything In Life And Would Rather Wrap Themselves In The Seductive Melodrama Of Eternal Struggle And Death.”
I know that’s a bit unwieldy to expect to see on CNN.
So how about this, then: “Adjacent Jew-Haters?”
Okay, so the Adjacent Jew-Haters want their own country. Oops, just one more thing. No, they don’t. They could’ve had their own country any time in the last forty years. But if you have your own country, you have to have traffic lights and garbage trucks and Chambers of Commerce, and, worse, you actually have to figure out some way to make a living. That’s no fun. No, they want what all the other Jew-Haters in the region want: Israel.
They also want a big pile of dead Jews, of course — that’s where the real fun is — but mostly they want Israel. Why? For one thing, trying to destroy Israel – or “The Zionist Entity” as their textbooks call it — for the last sixty years has allowed the rulers of Arab countries to divert the attention of their own people away from the fact that they’re the blue-ribbon most illiterate, poorest, and tribally backward people on God’s Earth. And if you’ve ever been around God’s Earth, you know that’s really saying something.
It makes me roll my eyes every time one of our pundits waxes poetic about the great history and culture of the Muslim Middle East. Unless I’m missing something, the Arabs haven’t contributed anything to the world since they added the numeral zero to Algebra (which they didn’t, but they pretend to have).
Chew this around and spit it out: Five hundred million Arabs; five million Jews. Try to think of all the Arab countries as a football field, and Israel as a pack of matches sitting in the middle of it. And now these same folks swear that if Israel gives them half of that pack of matches, everyone will be pals.
Really? Wow, what neat news. Hey, but what about the string of wars to obliterate the tiny country and the constant din of rabid blood oaths to drive every Jew into the sea? Oh, that? We were just kidding.
Just reverse the numbers. Imagine five hundred million Jews and five million Arabs. I was stunned at the simple brilliance of it. Can anyone picture the Jews strapping belts of razor blades and dynamite to themselves? Of course not. Or marshaling every fiber and force at their disposal for generations to drive a tiny Arab State into the sea? Nonsense. Or dancing for joy at the murder of innocents? Impossible. Or spreading and believing horrible lies about the Arabs baking their bread with the blood of children? Disgusting. No, as you know, left to themselves in a world of peace, the worst Jews would ever do to people is debate them to death.
It should be remembered that in 1918, with the fall of the Ottoman Empire, Britain and France were handed more than 5,000,000 square miles to divvy up and 99+% was given to the Arabs to create countries that did not exist previously. Less than 1% was given as a Mandate for the re-establishment of a state for the Jews on both banks of the Jordan River. In 1921, to appease the Arabs once again, another three quarters of that less than 1% was given to a fictitious state called Trans-Jordan.
Disregarding the fact that Gaza, Judea and Samaria are part of the land which was allocated for the creation of the Jewish state by the League of Nations, the US pressures Israel to negotiate with the enemy and expedite a two-state solution.
Ask yourself, why in all that extensive Arab land, could not a few measly square miles been allocated for a Palestinian state? Why must only the tiny State of Israel be expected to give up the little land that it has?