Now that there's a Halal Cola, it's time to get the Halal the Hell out of Coca Cola

Enjoy an ice-cold Haji in your hot sweaty Hijab. Ali Eghbal, the Hamburg businessman behind the new venture, believes the halal-certified cola will act as “a bridge between East and West.” (No it won’t. East is East and West is West and never the twain shall meet)

Islam vs Europe  According to Muslims, for one of the most successful beverages of the modern era, cola has an astonishingly bad image (only if you’re a Muslim asslifter). This has many reasons: from multinational soft drinks giants to questionable lifestyle choices and traditional, outdated production methods, cola is far from being linked to any curative effect.

How rude, and after Coca Cola tried so hard to change its ‘bad’ image just for Muslims. In 2008, COCA COLA  jumped on the bandwagon of faith…in Allah! For Ramadan (to coincide with Sept. 11th), Coke  released a can design with the internationally known symbol of Islam: The Star and Crescent. Adorning the national flags of at least 11 Islamic countries, these symbols have become part of Coca-Cola’s marketing scheme to appeal to Muslims only, but not any other faith group.

In haji cola, an alternative has been created that is unique. It is not haji that is special, but rather the haji drinker. It is the long overdue alternative for enlightened  people (7th Century throwbacks  who never make up their own minds and live their lives according to the crazed dictates of a paedophile prophet)

On the company’s website can be found a potted history of the term ‘haji’:

What is behind this mysterious name haji? In its original form, Haji is a courtesy title for a Muslim who has fulfilled his religious duty and made the pilgrimage to Mecca. Haji also stands for a person who is honest and good-tempered and whose company is  highly sought after.  The word Haji can also be found in the West, (most often in reference to Haji Hillary Clinton, known for her appeasement of Muslim radicals)

In this respect, the name evokes togetherness and transcends national and religious differences. Visually, the name connects Orient and Occident and is thus the perfect symbol to represent a blending of cultures and nations. True to the original meaning, haji cola and haji water will not polarise or separate people, but build bridges and bring people together. (In your dreams)

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Now, THIS is more like it!