“My mother wants me dead” because I refused to marry my first cousin

Sabatina James, a Pakistani women’s rights campaigner has revealed how she fears for her life after her strict Muslim parents threatened to kill her when she dared to refuse an arranged marriage.

UK DAILY MAIL  Sabatina James said the threat made her flee the family home at 18, change her name, convert to Catholicism and move abroad to set up a foundation for women in similar danger.

Her parents took her to court after she wrote a book about her experiences, in which she claimed to have been beaten as her teenager for kissing a boy and wearing clothes they thought were too revealing. They sued her for defamation – and lost. 

Miss James said she believed she would probably be dead now, if her parents had their way. She told the Daily Beast: ‘I rarely go out alone. ‘I often wonder if someone is lurking around the corner. ‘I have always loved my freedom – but I have paid a high price.’

Miss James claimed that, after she refused to marry the man her parents had chosen, her father told her: ‘The honour of this family is more important than my life or your life.’

But she added that her mother was even stricter, beating her and watching her every move to the point where she had ‘no anchor’. Miss James, who grew up in a rural village near the Kashmir mountains, said her problems began when she was 15 and the family lived in the Austrian city of Linz.

While she enjoyed the freedoms of Western culture, such as wearing lipstick and eyeliner, her conservative parents, who were brought together in an arranged marriage, disapproved.

 Her father even thought acting classes were for prostitutes, she said, while her mother believed using tampons would ‘ruin’ her virginity. It made her parents more determined to marry her off to preserve the family’s ‘honour’, she added.

Miss James said her mother once hit her across the cheek, kicked her legs and called her a whore after reading in her diary that she had kissed a boy.

So began three years of violence between them, Miss James claimed, based on her refusal to be in a forced marriage and the embarrassment it caused the family’s Pakistani peers in Austria. Miss James said her mother smacked her in the face with a shoe, splitting her lip, for having a t-shirt that was deemed to be too skimpy.

More trouble flared during a family to visit to Pakistan when she was 16.  After she attracted catcalls from a group of men while wearing an outfit she thought was ‘perfectly modest’, her mother was so ashamed that she beat herself in the chest with a metal rod – a sight that shocked Miss James, even though she was aware there were Pakistanis who flagellated themselves.

Miss James’s parents sent her to an Islamic school, or madrassa, in Lahore, Pakistan, where she shared a room with about 30 other girls. The girls spent all day studying the Koran, praying and listening to lectures about the prophet Muhammad, Miss James said. Any girl who spoke out of turn would be publicly caned in a courtyard, she added. Miss James was expelled after three months.

She ran away from home after her parents learned of her intention to break off the engagement and threatened her. Miss James said their harassment caused her to lose her job, forcing her to run away again, this time to the Austrian capital Vienna with the help of friends. There she began a new life, changing her name and converting to Catholicism.






By BareNakedIslam Posted in Women

46 comments on ““My mother wants me dead” because I refused to marry my first cousin

  1. Catholicism is a RELIGION..islam is not just a religious cult, it is a political system, it is a law upon itself through Sharia…Being Catholic, and requiring a divorce may be difficult, but they won’t KILL YOU FOR IT EITHER!!..Other Christian religions WILL allow you to divorce…no problems.
    Islam IS a male dominated culture! Everything is done to suit the men first and fore most, no matter what, and death is what women have to face for standing up to their ‘husbands’. Acid, stoning, fear & rape, this is male domination of women.
    The ‘humans’ causing these atrocities ARE muslims! It is time that other muslims, who don’t like what they are hearing, started punishing their own kind, holding them responsible for damaging your ‘name’. Control THEM, and maybe you would not be so frowned upon…but a muslim never admits defeat, so this war will go on forever… Just don’t expect respect from us in the meantime.

    • You are in dark, you dont know what is Islam and will never try to know! The catholics and the whole Europe and their media is always spreading prejudized stories about Islam! Before commenting or spitting venom against Islam try to study about Islam or atleast consult a person who know at least what is Islam! Your words are filled with hate about a particular community.
      If you know about male dominations ask some Nuns who spent their whole life without a legal male partner and used by the so called Saints in the Churches. they will tell you the real story of male dominations!

      • Take your taqiyya and kitman ELSEWHERE!!!!!

        Enough of us here HAVE read the Qu’rân in part or in whole; furthermore, many of us are acquainted with the Hadith, Sira and the whole rest of your EVIL ideology!!!!!

        You won’t deceive US, you Moslem slattern!!!!

        DEATH TO ISLAM!!!!!

  2. Islam does not say to marry your cousins
    lack of education , male dominance cultures are the cause of the above- not so long ago white women were also treated as second class citizens. hate does not solve anything. Its all too easy to blame islam – why not blame the humans who commit the atrocities and they are in every religion and every country
    again too many stereotypes and generalizations
    If she has converted to Catholicism they do not believe in divorce , what if she marries a catholic who beats her – does that make Catholicism the culprit or the man?!

  3. A Normal guy to a Muslim with many wives.
    Normal guy:”hey man, what’s the secret? How come you have so many wives? I can barely handle one”.
    Muslim: with a weird look on his face “ISLAM”.
    Normal guy:”what?” “Islam makes man sexually strong?”
    Muslim:”No Islam makes women weak!”

      • I also get this message when I try to check after following for every link on notification emails…
        I have NO idea what it is talking about, or why it is doing this…

        There doesn’t seem to be a wp-config.php file. I need this before we can get started.

        Need more help? We got it.

        You can create a wp-config.php file through a web interface, but this doesn’t work for all server setups. The safest way is to manually create the file.

        Create a Configuration File

      • Marlyn, you’re right. It’s very odd that it is shown on many websites but is not available for purchase.
        Perhaps her life was threatened and she agreed not to sell it anymore?

  4. PS, thank you, Ms. BNI, so very much for posting that photo of Ms. Sabatina James’ baptism (that’s what the German word “Taufe” means)!!

  5. God Bless her and her organization!!! I’m so happy she was able to escape her Pakistani homeland, her EVIL family (for a while she had to pretend she would accept to marry that first cousin so that she then could for the time being get back to Austria – once back there, she fled!) and that MONSTROUSLY-EVIL ideology known as Islam!!!!

    It’s so wonderful that she has converted to Christianity – presumably it’s genuine, especially after the trouble she had to go to in changing her name, moving away from even Austria (how sad!!!) in order to completely sever all links with her old homeland of Pakistan and ex-family!!!! Who on this earth would be willing to go to all that trouble in order to gain a modicum of safety?!??

    Here’s hoping that she can eventually lose even her fear of going out alone: hopefully she’ll develop a full appreciation of everything that Muslims hate. Again, God Bless her and any offspring she may have…

  6. mohammad was killed by a woman (Peace be Upon Her). Perhaps G-d willing his poisonous tree will be felled by women taking possession of their lives and futures.
    “You may say I’m a Dreamer,
    But I’m not the only one,
    Someday You may Join Us,
    And the World will live as One”
    John Lennon

  7. I know a Catholic lay group called Legion of Mary that does door to door missionary work Mormon style. Need to have random Catholics, Baptists, Evangelicals Et Al knocking on their doors, maybe they will get the hint and go back home (or better yet throw off the yoke of islam).

  8. Need to provide outreach and shelters for women in this situation. Knock some low hanging fruit off the poisonous tree of islam.

  9. Perhaps the way to fight is provide sanctuary for women in this situation. Safe houses. I know there is a Catholic Lay Confraternaty called Legion of Mary that engages in Mormom style missionary work door to door. If the war was taken to their doorsteps, literally with Evangelicals, Baptists and catholics knocking on their doors (Freedom of Speech, Freedom of Religion) some of the low hanging fruit might be knocked off the poisonous tree. Second benefit , if it became common, they might not want to come to the US.

    • Missy, this young lady has it all~! Brains, Courage AND Beauty,,, and the Wisdom to use them all to the advantage of her “people”.

    • Yeah she is,but if she can pull a Trigger,then looks just don’t come into it missymoo,end of story.

  10. RL, the so called “women’s rights organization will not help any female even remotely related to a muslime or come from an area known to be predominately islamic muslime.
    There are, in fact, 10s of 1,000s of muslime females who want to get out but they are almost held captive in their own homes.
    Many more live so far from help, have no funds to sustain themselves, can not even get a job without parental or family male relative approval and most do not have a clue as to what they have to do to escape.
    An increasing number of women in muslime countries want the freedoms they have heard that Western women have but are virtually locked in a cage without hope of release.
    The UN could help – BUT – the majority of UN members are islamic muslimes plus we can forget about hillary clinton helping them to escape as she is too busy trying to enforce sharia law on women in America.
    Naturally, these statements are simply my opinion.

    • Your right Guy,they are all 2 x Faced Bastards,they have no Heart,and will NEVER offer any support to their own,of course unless they are Killing somebody,or something they don’t understand.

  11. Thank GOD ALMIGHTY, Not Allah!! That she got the hell out of that despicable asslifter environment!! AND coverted to Christianity!!…AND may the GOOD LORD protect and keep her, as I am quite certain there will be some asslifters who will consider here an “apostate”, and count her among the “infidels” since she has the brains, the heart AND the courage to say NO to the Asslifters!!

  12. What a beautiful and brave young woman. I love the way she explained the difference between domestic violence and honor based violence. In the west the abuser is the man and everyone recognizes him as such. In honor based violence the victim is the one who’s seen as the criminal. Well said, especially after that CNN reporter tried to make a moral equivalence between the two.

  13. The walls of this GLOBAL JAIL (Islam) are cracking and crumbling.

    Women like this will bring Islam tumbling down.


    Cousin marriage gives Islam its ability to CRUSH WOMEN. So ban it…then Moslems will abandon it so their children can emigrate.

    Cousin marriage is evil, hurts women and hurts the innocent children with CONGENITAL ILLNESSES and low IQ.


    • I remember an Egyptian man where i used to work (late 1960’s)who said that girls were extremely rare in his family because the last one born was so horribly deformed and had only one eye, breathing problems and died shorly thereafter. as along as allah allows it there isn’t much to be said.

        • B. – you can tell that by their lack of ability or willingness to move forward,in life,if the opposite were true,then they would join in in going forward in life,and making progress for their side,but NO,they only see one way,and thats the way by their “Big Book”,(sorry i’ve just given them more status than they deserve by given them capital Letters)

    • Perceptor1, you give the most perfectly logical reasoning NOT to do what you advocate~! My apologies but you’ve said, “Cousin marriage is evil, hurts women and hurts the innocent children with CONGENITAL ILLNESSES and low IQ.” and you are so right~! BUT by that same token, with the degree of inbreeding, the loss of IQ, and the increase in insanity, can shaytan / satan work against itself in a more direct manner?
      Soon, and with the increase in the mozlem population it won’t be long, they will have lost almost all cognitive abilities,,, and with the Stuxnet and Duku viruses already in their systems, can self-destruction be far behind??? Let them breed to the point they exterminate themselves, which they are well on their way to doing~!
      I see your point, My Friend, and would LOVE to totally agree with you, were it not for the self-destruct mechanism already built into their genetic structure, waiting to be activated~!

  15. The women will lead the way out of the morass of idicy,,, May G-D watch over and protect her, and those whom she will inspire~!

  16. Beautiful, Brave & Intelligent young woman!
    It’s amazing how some of these women “get it” and yet other’s don’t? Is there that much fear instilled in them b/c surely they can’t believe this way of life is NORMAL? But then again, if it’s all you’ve know and are taught…..but brings me back to how some “get it” right off?

    • shaz – how come it’s always the”beautifull”women that are the speaking out,are they a “Front” for anything else they have on their agenda,?? – always keep your Guard up,do not trust any of them,esp.when they are Trained to LIE to everyone who does not beleive in what they beleive in.

      • can you blame them? many women would rather be beat that ‘dishonor” their family and don’t know their is a way out.

    • Rock, Too busy being know it alls with their liberal hippie education that was taught by their liberal hippie professors. These kids who voted for Barack Obama don’t know shit about life as did I when I in my twenties.

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