AUSTRALIA SAYS “COME ON DOWN!”

SPECIAL FOR MUSLIM EXTREMISTS, TERRORISTS, PAEDOPHILES, AND THEIR EXTENDED WELFARE FAMILIES

G’DAY MUSLIM FRIENDS AND WELCOME TO OUR ONE-OF-A-KIND PROGRAM JUST FOR MUSLIMS AND THEIR FAMILIES. IT’S CALLED ‘ASYLUM’ – YOUR FREE PASS TO FREE STUFF FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

All you have to win a FREE HOUSE is hop on a boat.

We’ve already given away hundreds of millions of dollars and thousand of dream homes, all courtesy of our generous sponsor:

 —————-THE AUSTRALIAN TAXPAYER—————-

One extra lucky family has won $1.7 Million Dollars from Australian Taxpayers just for asking the question: 

“Why don’t we have better accommodations?

And don’t forget, we’re now the fastest growing ‘Get Your Free Handouts’ game on the planet. Anyone can play, provided they don’t already hold a valid Australian Passport. And you only need to know one word of English:

—————————–‘ASYLUM’—————————–

Prizes include all-expenses paid acommodations, cash benefits starting at $800 per week and a chance to earn thousands more by begging, mugging, and accosting drivers at traffic lights.

This program is open to everyone. Just buy a ticket to Indonesia and catch the first available boat to Australia.

NO APPLICATION EVER REFUSED – reasonable or unreasonable.

All you have to do is destroy all your papers, birth certificate, passports, identity cards. Then once your boat is inside Australian waters, set it on fire, and shout to the rescuers the magic password:

—————————–‘ASYLUM’———————————

A few years ago, 140 members of a well-known Taliban family from Afghanistan were flown ‘goat class’ from Kabul to Indonesia’s Gateway, where agents were on hand to fast-track them to their luxury accommodations on the boat ride to Australia, where they then joined thousands of other lucky Muslims staying in hotels all over Australia awaiting final paperwork on their Asylum applications.

Our most popular destinations also include Baxter’s Reef and the world famous Christmas Island resort and detention centers.

If you have trouble understanding the rules and conditions, just apply for legal aid. We have hundreds of lawyers, social workers, and councilors standing by, waiting to help you. And it won’t cost you a dime. But it will change your life forever.

Be sure to put down your age as under 18, so you get special fast-track treatment. No one will be able to prove you are not the age you say because you won’t have any IDs with you.

SO COME ON DOWN: Iraqi suicide bombers, Afghan Taliban, Pakistani paedophiles, Albanian gangsters, Kosovo drug smugglers, bogus Bosnians, al-Qaeda retirees, Iranian fundamentalists, Somali pirates, Sudanese Christian beheaders, Turkish honor killers, Moroccan mass murderers, Palestinian propagandists, Hamas Jew-killers, Hezbollah Marine baracks bombers, and more.

Head for the Indonesian fishing ports. Do not stop in Thailand or Bali.

Then go straight to Australia, where you are guaranteed to be a winner in the ASYLUM GAME, especially if you are a Muslim.

ASYLUM SEEKERS $10,000 GIFT PACK:

The $10,000 welcome pack for asylum seekers who wait for their refugee claims to be processed.

Washing machine

Fridge

Lounge, min 4-seat

Table & chairs, min 5 piece

Coffee table

Radio alarm

Wall clock

Heater or fan

TV, min 21-inch

TV stand

DVD player

Phone

Bed base, mattresses

Bedside tables

Mattress protectors

Wardrobe, if none built in

Clothes hangers

Pillow, pillow cases

2 blankets per person

Quilt

2 sheet sets per person

2 towels per person

2 face washers per person

Microwave

Rice cooker

Toaster

Electric kettle

Frypan or wok

Pots and pans

Knife set

Dinner ware including plates, mugs, bowls, cutlery and glasses, min 16 pieces

Chopping board

Ovenware

Baking items

Glass container set

Measuring cups and spoons

Salt and pepper shakers

Colander

Salad bowl

Food storage, 15 pieces

Canister set: sugar, bread, biscuits, tea, coffee

Kitchen utensils: Slotted spoon, ladle, egg flip, potato masher, wooden spoon, vegetable peeler, scissors, can
opener, tongs, whisk, grater

Dish cloths

Tea towels

Pot holder, oven mitts

Mop and bucket

Broom, dustpan, brush

Toilet brush

Iron and ironing board

Indoor rubbish bin

Vacuum cleaner, bagless

Laundry basket

Clothes pegs

Shower curtain

Shower caddy

Cleaning bucket

Smoke detector

Fire extinguisher

Fire blanket

First aid kit

CAN BE ASKED FOR

Rugs

Additional heaters/blankets

Additional fans

ITEMS WHICH CAN BE APPROVED

Computers and internet access

Mobile phones

Bicycles, skateboards, rollerblades

Sewing machines

Student desks

iPod or other music storage device

Game consoles

Baby kit: Mattress, blackets, towels, baths, high chairs and prams worth $750

H/T ALASTAIR