BNI Reader presents: ‘All the Muslim news that isn’t fit to print’…anywhere else

GOOD NEWS!!!!!…..on the fuzzy-wuzzy multicultural front.

By: Don Laird, Edson, Alberta, Canada

Several corporations have taken a page from the “We Love Islam” book written by sophisticate Mike Mikan, CEO of Best Buy, best known for becoming a Platinum level sponsor of the the Hamas-affiliated Council on American-Islamic Relation (CAIR) with its large donation to the terror-supporting organization that is on the FBI’s sh*t list because of its known terrorist ties. 

At the behest of CAIR and with the enthusiastic support of Muslims and their left wing terrorist-sympathizing friends across North America, not to mention the Muslim-in-Chief in the White House,  Toys “R” Us has set up an exclusive Muslim wedding gift registry service for those gurgling, blushing Muslim child brides to be, with age-appropriate gifts for girls from ages 3 to 14.

HEALTHY NEWS!!!!!…….Gerber Foods, ever the corporate community team players, has launched their new line of newlywed snacks.

“Prophet’s Pablum” and “Muhammad’s Mush” specifically designed to replenish iron levels as a result of blood loss from massive vaginal and rectal tearing sustained on the happy muslim couples wedding night, all halal of course.

EVEN MORE GOOD NEWS!!!! Quick to comply with Muslim outrage and protestations across North America, Proctor and Gamble, the makers of Pampers, has agreed to pull all advertising of Pampers for being offensive to Muslim sensitivities.

CAIR, The Muslim Brotherhood and all affiliated Muslim victim groups, found the ads, with excessive use of naked babies, to be sexually provocative in the extreme and had in fact, resulted in thousands of Muslim men being admitted to emergency rooms in a state of cardiac arrest resulting from pedophiliac sexual excitation…..(commonly known and diagnosed as “Muhammad’s Fever)……….this was, of course, with the full support of Justin Trudeau who took a page from his fathers book of socialist lunacy telling reporters that ….”What goes on in a muslim daycare is nobody’s business”……..both Libby Davies and Olivia Chow, overwhelmed with liberalesque sentimentality, lost control of their bladders, peed their pants and then burst into tears, but, recovering quickly, they burst into rousing applause………”Oh, his daddy would be so very proud!!!!” they said…….

(Margaret Trudeau was unavailable for comment as she was somewhere in orbit around Saturn aboard the USS Prozac…….)

SAD NEWS!!!! on the CAIR front

Ibrahim “Dougie” Hooper, wanting to impress Nihad Awad and eager to show all the CAIR Cowboys he was really really really a real muslim and really really part of the CAIR team, under orders from Nezar Hamze, he went out late last night to “blow up a few cars”……..he ended up in hospital with 3rd degree muffler burns to his lips.

However, at the hospital, Dougie Hooper had company…………in the bed beside him was Ahmed “Was That The Blue Wire Or The Red Wire?” Rehab………..apparently things didn’t go so well in his attempt to blow up the local “Jimmy Dean House of Islamic Horrors”

Way overaged Bacha Bazi Boy Ahmed Rehab

SHUT MY MOUTH!!!!!!…..CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!!!……..IT’S EVEN MORE GOOD NEWS!!!!!!

The Heavenly Rest Funeral Home of Dearborn , Michigan, has enthusiastically announced their commencement of “Muslim Date Night”……..after last prayer, the morgue will be open from 01:00 am till 04:30 am for all those love-struck muhammadans who are looking for their dream gals. Ever the opportunists….the Faberge Corporation has added a new line of cologne to the list of favs for those Ramadan Romeos…….in addition to “Evening In Auschwitz” and “Eau De Zyklon B”…….they just rolled out “Memories of Formaldehyde”, sure to be a hit with those moonstruck mullahs………to quote the co-designers of this new fragrance, Carl Lagerfeld and Barack Obama,……”In trying to enhance the mystique and machismo of the muslim male and not wanting to frighten the other muslin love interest, domestic livestock, we thought a cross between the rotting corpse of his late wife and sheep’s excrement would be a hit”………….word has it old Carl wasn’t wrong……the first 100,000 bottles were sold in advance in Riyadh and Dubai has been back ordered for months……….(apparently Saudi Arabian dictator and chief pedophile, King Abdullah, had a swimming pool filled with it and does twenty laps every morning before attending the first beheading of the day………)

And all of this from an impotent, child molesting desert lunatic who managed to parlay a scorching case of syphilis and flatulence induced dementia into cutesy “messages from god”…….and the rest, as they say……is history!!!!

Ahhhhhhhh……islam….the religion of peace………peace and hypocrisy……..and they’ll cut off your head to prove it!!!!

Well…..that about does it for me this evening……after another brandy I’m off to the toilet to talk to muhammad……

Regards, Don Laird
Edson, Alberta, Canada

PS: would someone please file a complaint with one of the multitude of Human Rights Commissions?……….Please!!!!?????……or at least get me put on the “Islamo-Hater” list with that revolting collection of litigating left-wing losers, the Sothern Poverty Law Center???…….please!!!!………or how about a death threat???……just a little one about cutting off my infidel head……or gouging out my white-devil eyes…………look…..I really am starting to feel left out……or send me some anthrax………anything………call me late at night and wish me happy Ramadan and then hang up, or don’t hang up, just breathe heavily and tell me you want to see my “kebabs” roasting over a camel dung fire………..anything……..just make me feel a little paranoid…pleeeeeease!!!!!,  

A LITTLE HISTORY…

Justin Trudeau is the son of our former Prime Minister, Pierre Trudeau (now, thankfully dead) a leftist piece of excrement, who spawned a multiplicity of lunatic and cancerous pieces of legislation that have contributed significantly to the destruction of Canada’s moral and ethical fabric……and that is when the good Prime Minister wasn’t fathering a small herd of bastard children.

Justin loves Muslims

Margaret Trudeau is Justin’s mother and is famous for running about sans panties, much to the delight of paparazzi, and acting as a human bicycle to rock stars and “B” grade celebrities…

Now Margaret divides her time between drunk driving and acting as a pharmaceutical test pilot for all the popular mood-altering drug manufacturers…