The Islamopanderers at WAPO apparently think we should be interested in learning how to behave or not behave around Muslims during their entire ‘holy’ month of Ramadan. What this doesn’t say but should is, walk on eggshells, don’t eat pork, in fact, try not to eat anything in front Muslims so as not to offend them while they are fasting all day…..but gorging all night.

You’ll want to share this with your friends and family, because, as we all know, Muslim sensitivities are the most important consideration in America right now.

Washington Post  -In the next few weeks, you may come into work and find your co-worker taking a power nap at 9:30am. At break time, you’ll notice she is missing in the discussion about Harry Potter over at the water cooler. At the staff meeting, you will be shocked when she is offered coffee and cookies and refuses ! By lunch time, your concern about her missing at the water cooler compels you to investigate the situation.

Then you remember what she had mentioned last week over a delicious Sushi lunch. Flooded with relief, you go up to her desk, and proclaim with much gusto, “Ramadan Mubarak (Moo-baa-rak)!” Ramadan’s Blessings to you! (That’s right, we’ll drop what we’re doing to to rush right over and wish her Happy Ramadamadingdong)

The month of Ramadan is a happy occasion; it is the month that the Muslim holy book, the Quran, was revealed to our Prophet Muhammad.

Muslims are called by their religion to celebrate the month by coming together in worship, fasting each day (and gorging themselves each night) for thirty days from dawn until sunset.

While this may seem like a tremendous feat, consider this: Fasting while working is an even greater endeavor. Make it a little easier on your Muslim colleague by following a couple of simple rules:

The Greeting:

The next time you find yourself in line for the copier with your Muslim colleague, feel free to wish him or her “Ramadan Mubarak” or “Ramadan Kareem” or simply “Happy Ramadan.” (I thought we already did that at their desks?) We absolutely love it when people acknowledge Ramadan and are happy about it.

Positive Reinforcement:

Keep in mind that we’re fasting voluntarily and, actually, pretty joyously despite the tired, sad look on our face. (You mean the sad look isn’t gas from all that gorging they did the night before?)  We’re not forced to fast. In fact, we wait for this month the whole year, so you don’t have to feel sorry for us. (Don’t worry, we don’t) We are not trying to be rescued. (Thats funny, considering muslims are always  playing the ‘victim’)

The Lunch Meeting:

Most of us understand that life goes on, and so do lunch meetings, and if we are participating in them while fasting, don’t worry about eating in front of us. (We don’t) This is just part of the test. We appreciate your acknowledging our fast, but don’t feel the need to discuss it every time you show up in our line of sight holding food. Just try not to eat smelly foods. (I thought we don’t have to worry about eating in front of you?)

No Water:

It’s true — we can’t drink water either. Again, this is part of the Ramadan test and our exercise of spiritual discipline. This is probably why you may not find your friend at the water cooler. Try switching the break time conversation to another location in the office. You should probably also let them skip their turn for the coffee run this time. (Why? Is carrying coffee against Islamic law now?)

Foul Breath:

While God may tell us that the breath of the one fasting is like “fragrant musk” to Him, we know that you’re not God – and aren’t enjoying it. Understand why we’re standing a good foot away from you when speaking or simply using sign language to communicate. (Actually, we wish you would stand as far away from us as possible ALL the time)

Iftar Dinner:

Consider holding a Ramadan Iftar dinner. Iftar is the Arabic word for the meal served at sunset when we break the fast (it’s literally our ‘breakfast’). This will be a nice gesture for Muslim coworkers and will give others the opportunity to learn about and partake in Ramadan festivities.  Although there is no specific type of meal designated for iftars,  (Good, how about sausage and peppers?) it is is tradition to break the fast with a sweet and refreshing date before moving to a full-on dinner. (Are ‘Israeli’ dates OK?)

Fasting is not an excuse:

Although energy levels might be low, the point of fasting is not to slack off from our other duties and responsibilities. We believe that we are rewarded for continuing to work and produce during our fasts. Fasting is not a reason to push meetings, clear schedules, or take a lighter load on projects. That said – we don’t mind if you help work in a nap time for us! (Will the Muslim-only prayer room you forced the company to provide be suitable or do we have to provide a special nap room, as well?)

Ramadan is a time for community and charity (like the Holy Land foundation for Hamas?). There are iftar dinners held at mosques every night. You are welcome to join the fun – even if you’re not fasting! (I can hardly wait) and night time prayer vigils throughout the month. We give charity in abundance and make an extra effort to partake in community service. (But only MUSLIM community service)

Throughout it all, we maintain an ambiance of joy and gratitude for all that God has blessed us with, and reflect on those in this world who have been given much less. This is a time for all of us–not just Muslims–to renew our spiritual intentions, increase our knowledge, and change ourselves for the better. (In the case of ‘all of us,’ that means converting to Islam)